It hit me as I sat there. It was over wasn’t it? It was a cold Thursday night; the breeze blew through my jacket as the moon glowed high above. I sat outside the empty mall, just minutes after it shut its doors. Through the glass doors I could see employees scrubbing away at the marble floor, trying desperately to wrap up their day and get home. I remember I used to do the same, for her.

There was a time when I worked throughout the summer at the guitar-center as a trainee. As the main workhorse, I was put on cleaning duty most days after the store closed. I specifically remember one day when the boss asked me to work overtime, on a day I wasn’t supposed to. I agreed, obviously. However, that night I had plans to see a movie, and I only had thirty minutes to spare. I quickly brushed up all the guitars and placed the drum sets where they belonged. I grabbed the mop and ran it across the store left and right. When everything was sparkling clean, I grabbed the movie tickets and bolted out the door. As I turned around the corner, I saw her standing at the entrance. She turned and smiled at me. Her black heels stood out first; the way they pushed her up a couple of inches only made her closer to Heaven than she already was. Her dress floated slightly above her knees as she spun, making a small whirlwind of the leaves below. She held her hands in front of her, displaying that tiny rose gold watch she always wore and adored. Her smile lit up every bulb in my world, regardless of how dull the starry night was. She grabbed my hand as I approached and took the tickets, then studied me for a while as I stood there like a rock, admiring the descended angel that stood before me. When she laughed, she released me from my spell, and I found myself grinning alongside her. I never felt a moment like that before her and I am not sure if I will again.

My thoughts were shattered as the doors to the mall chimed open; the employees were finished. As they put on their beanies and coats, I suddenly realized that it had started to snow. The white petals drifted across the dark sky, replacing what would have been stars. Then my memories took over.

I sat on my chair staring into my computer screen while she lie on the bed reading a book. It was Thanksgiving, but winter had already taken Chicago by storm. It didn’t take long to realize that both of us were looking out the window at the white blur that flashed by, and that both of us had the same thought. In a unanimous decision, we grabbed our winter coats and stepped outside.

We powered through the snow and found ourselves on the bridge above the Chicago River. That’s when she tapped my shoulder. I stared under her Eskimo hoodie at her as she pointed across the bridge. I was struck by the most marvelous sight I have ever seen. The sun was setting, but its lush red rays blared through the blistering white around it. The river surface reflected the beams, creating a carpet that led towards the gates of Heaven. With a flash of courage, I took her hand and I kept praying and promising myself that I would never let go.                                                                 

Yet, time goes on and things change; and sometimes the falling out between two people can be inevitable. It has been almost two years since those incidents happened, and between then and now were the stories that didn’t make it onto the page, partially because I didn’t remember them, and partially because I didn’t want to. It’s interesting how as time goes on people tend to forgive, and eventually forget the bad things. In the end all that’s left are those small happy memories, the ones that eventually make up the highlight of our lives.

I stood up from the bench and headed towards the car; it was a long night and I was ready to go home. But before I reached the car a final thought crept into my mind: it didn’t matter what we were then, and it didn’t matter what the future has planned for us. If our paths never collided again, I would still smile, because what we had was unquestionable. The past would always be how it was, and the effect we had on each other’s lives was undeniable. Our passion characterized us, and our scars defined us; and like the snowflakes that fell from the sky that night, we became untouchable.

William Wan