The Five Chairs That Influence Happiness

written by Furat Mousa, master’s student in Teaching, Learning, & Technology

photo by Nicolas COMTE on Unsplash

One of the greatest and most valuable topics that I can research and learn in great depth is about myself, which will lead me to a better understanding of my happiness and uniqueness.  I came to this conclusion in 2020 when COVID-19 cleared my schedule and released me from distractions.  Equipped with the knowledge that it would be a waste of my time to plan anything for that summer and fall, I decided to use my time wisely by researching myself. After all, I was a college student.

It was during this research that I learned about Louise Evans and her five chairs.  Louise Evans is a Global Executive Coach and Leadership Facilitator with over twenty years of experience.  Louise’s five chairs taught me that I experience a situation differently based on which chair I am sitting in.  For example, the red chair is my judging others chair, the yellow chair is my judging myself chair, the green chair is my WAIT (what am I thinking) chair, the blue chair is my studying myself chair, and the purple chair is my empathizing with others chair.

Now, why is choosing a chair important?  Because my chosen chair will influence the path and results of my experiences.  According to Druckenmiller, a clinical social worker in Psychiatry & Psychology in Albert Lea, Minnesota and author of College Students and Depression, “A recent study found that 1 in 3 college students experiences significant depression and anxiety” (Druckenmiller, 2022, para. 3) and “up to 44% of college students reported having symptoms of depression and anxiety” (Druckenmiller, 2022, para. 5). 

One way to reduce depression and anxiety is to improve self-esteem.  According to Buchalter, the author of 250 Brief, Creative and Practical Art Therapy Techniques: A Guide for Clinicians and Clients, “Self-esteem develops from many sources including one’s self-appraisal, achievements, parental support and approval, acceptance by friends and significant people in one’s life, as well as handling challenges faced throughout the years” (Buchalter, 2017, p. 57).  

Therefore, students need to visualize themselves being capable of succeeding 100% of the time regardless of the depth and quantity of challenging times.  For example, Stacie Sullivan graduated from Southern New Hampshire University in 2019 with a B.S. in Health Information Management, thus ending the decade on a high note.  However, the first five years of that decade began on a very low note due to three major setbacks. Sullivan lost her father, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and endured a hip replacement.  Despite those setbacks, Sullivan pursued her dream of being a college graduate until it became a reality in 2019 (Leboeuf, 2020).  

Another example is John Voelpel, an 81-years-young graduate of the class of 2018 from the University of South Florida with a Ph.D. in Philosophy. Voelpel began his Ph.D. journey in 2003; however, three years later, he experienced a major setback in the form of a car accident that claimed one of his legs.  Yet like Sullivan, Voepel pursued his dream of being a Ph.D. graduate until it became a reality in 2018 (Schreiner, 2018). 

When I originally read about Sullivan and Voelpel, I sat in the purple chair and empathized with their journey.  Then I became curious about what fueled their drive from a place of suffering to a place of personal success; therefore, I sat in the green chair and became a student of their stories on a deeper level.  

Being inspired by Sullivan and Voelpel, I returned to Louise Evans and her five chairs to study it with a newfound appreciation.  I learned more about the chairs, such as the red chair is where I blame other people, the yellow chair is where I tell myself that I am not intelligent enough, the green chair is where I become curious of other peoples’ behavior, the blue chair is where I study my behavior, and the purple chair is where I embrace diversity because I listen to others.

At the conclusion of my second visit, I sat in the blue chair and spent quality time there, learning many lessons in the process about my strengths, weaknesses, and uniqueness.  I learned that I do not hate academic assignments, what I hated was 11:59pm on Sunday night.  Therefore, I took ownership and decided to make my due dates twelve hours prior.  I learned that I do not hate big assignments, what I hated was my lack of organization.  Therefore, I took ownership and decided to use spreadsheets — one spreadsheet for the in-text citations and reference list and another spreadsheet for the quotes and takeaways.  I learned that I hate having to Google everything in order to learn about a topic, so I took ownership and decided to learn about a topic by having great intellectual conversations with the librarians, the professors, and fellow classmates.  A key lesson that I learned is that education is not filling a bucket but lighting a fire; therefore, the most important and valuable topic that I can research and learn in great depth is about myself, which will lead me to a better understanding of my happiness and uniqueness.   

Consider your current relationships, your current work environment, and your current educational environment.  Which chair(s) are you currently sitting in?

References

Buchalter, S. (2017). 250 brief, creative and practical art therapy techniques: A guide for clinicians and clients. PESI.

Druckenmiller, R. (2022, July 19). College students and Depression. SPEAKING OF HEALTH. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/college-students-and-depression

Leboeuf, R. (2020, September 8). Cancer Survivor Earns HIM Degree, Offered Job with Cancer Registry. Southern New Hampshire University. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/community/him-grad-lands-cancer-registry-job

Schreiner, M. (2018, May 3). USF’s 7,000 Graduates Include 81-Year-Old Who Won’t Stop Learning. WUSF Public Media. https://wusfnews.wusf.usf.edu/university-beat/2018-05-03/usfs-7-000-graduates-include-81-year-old-who-wont-stop-learning

Taylor, D. (2018, November 6). Using The 5 Chairs to improve communication. Amazing People: Retirement Coaching Est. 1998. https://www.amazingpeople.co.uk/using-the-5-chairs-to-improve-communication/

TEDx Talks. (2017, January 11). Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BZuWrdC-9Q