I was born to be bullied. In terms of issues related to sex, people can be easily discriminated against but do not have a chance to fight back. As a sexual minority, I want to tell you about my feelings of the Chinese’s different attitudes towards gender issues. Specifically, they include using gender stereotypes to generalize other sexes, discriminating against the LGBTQ community, and lacking any sexual education.
When I was in elementary school, I was a boy who did not fit the stereotype of a boy. People in China usually think that a boy should like to play sports since this is what most adults taught us is masculinity. People think a boy should be aggressive. Instead, I was neither athletic nor aggressive. I was a gentle and sensitive. This may seem to be good features, but it was actually troublesome during that time. I have been bullied for acting like a ‘girl.’ My classmate called me ‘faggot,’ ‘sissy,’ and other awful words. While they were making fun of me, I couldn’t find anyone to help or support me. Guys want to hang out with guys, and so do I. However, my classmates started to keep their distance from me.
Many years later, when I went to middle school, things didn’t get better. Fortunately, I started to realize my own identity. I wanted to be who I am but was also afraid of others’ discrimination. Knowing my sexuality, I still didn’t dare to tell anyone about it– afraid I would be considered as a monster. I was also worried about a lot of things- what would my family think about me? How can I defend myself when facing other’s discrimination? Was there any way to change my sexuality? I worry about this because there are some private clinics which claim that they can use treatment to alter people’s sexuality.
In 2015, during high school, things started to change. Studying in an international high school, people were open to different sexualities. Many of my friends knew that I was gay. However, none of them discriminated against me. That year, nearly 40 states in the United States legalized same sex marriage. However, that year, the Chinese government banned anything related to the LGBTQ community on all of the television channels. It was actually really disappointing seeing that the efforts made by the LGBTQ community just disappeared in China. Soon, the discussion on social media had even been banned. I can still remember my friends, who are also homosexual, telling me how frustrated they were.
Later in high school, I realized just like American actress Terri Garr said, “It doesn’t help to contemplate how sad your life is. You have to move on.” Earth doesn’t stop rotating when we are depressed. I still hope that less people will suffer from the pain that I have experienced. I still hope that sexual education can be given in all schools in China. I still hope that someday the Chinese government will not treat homosexuals like we are all rapists.
Last month on Weibo (Chinese version of twitter), people had lots of discussions about the masculinity of young artists and actors in China because China’s national television network, China Central television, had banned actors, who are considered to be feminine, from performing on their channel. This action has led to a series of discussions. Some say that my younger generation only prefers males who are girl-like. Others claimed that this is a sign of the growing diversity of China.
I reckon this action is because of Chinese traditional culture. There’s an old Chinese proverb thay says, “Women’s headband is just as good as men’s beard.” It means that a woman is performing so great that she is just like a man. On the other hand, ‘A man acting like a woman’ is a criticism of a man’s masculinity. Seniors in China are claiming that the preferences of women would lead to change of the whole generation, and this is not a valid statement as this situation has never occurred before. Seniors made this statement because they do not want to accept the minorities in their society. This should not happen in the 21st Century China as the country is still pursuing its goal of freedom and democracy.
In a modern, diverse and open society, everyone has the right to live their own life. Problems of accepting minorities in society might be inevitable as this is the debate between diversity and conservatism. However, no matter how long it lasts, I truly hope people all over the world, especially students who are still in school, as they are vulnerable to harm, don’t have to experience the same torture as me. Just like Justin Baldoni says: “Instead of teaching our children to be brave boys or pretty girls, can we maybe just teach them how to be good humans.”