By Communication Consultant Xinyi Cui (Accounting and BIS, ’22)
We often think about the importance of oral, verbal, and non verbal communication. However, we should not ignore the power of silence. But be careful; we can’t remain silent simply to avoid talking. As Pythagoras implies with the quote above, we should strive to have something important to say.
Let’s imagine that one of your best friends comes to you because they are having a difficult time with school life. You listen patiently to learn about what is happening. But what can you do now?
In such situation, it might be a good idea to stay silent until you can figure out the following questions:
1) What is your friend looking for–some logical suggestions or simply emotional support?
2) If your friend asks for advice, are you able to give suggestions because you have similar experiences or you have some specific expertise, or should you instead express empathy?
3) What is the best way of expressing your thoughts/perspectives?
We try to consider these questions before we speak up, because at least we will not accidentally hurt someone with an unthoughtful response. Furthermore, being silent might be a more appropriate approach than providing endless “recommendations.”
Does that mean we should keep our mouth shut when we chat with our friends? Definitely not. What’s critical about leveraging the power of silence is to pause. Don’t directly express your opinions without a second thought. Instead, be more cautious about your approach to communicating by including some words like “I feel you” or “I am always here for you” and some behaviors like eye contact and nodding in affirmation. Not only will these strategies make your troubled friend much more comfortable, when you do eventually speak, your worlds will be more impactful.
Just as in your personal communication, using silence in business communication is important. Whether you’re building trust, emphasizing a point, negotiating, empowering others, seeking answers, or centering yourself, using silence effectively is a power skill that will make you a leader.
Get information and resources about our center at The Philip Rauch Center for Business Communication.