The article, “Are You Going To Delete Me? Latent Profiles of Post-Relationship Breakup Social Media Use and Emotional Distress,” by McDaniel, et. al (2021) analyzes four profiles of post-relationship breakup social media behaviors, which consisted of the following: clean breakers, who showed little to no monitoring, interacting with or deleting of their ex-partner, wistful reminiscers, who also did not delete the profile of their ex on social media but still interacted with their ex and the ex’s family and friends, ritual cleansers, who showed little to no monitoring or interacting with their ex, but deleted history with them on social media, and finally, impulsives, who demonstrate all social media engagement behaviors with their ex-partner, such as deleting, monitoring, and interacting with them. I did not find it surprising that people characterized as impulsives in terms of post-relationship breakup social media interaction showed the highest levels of emotional distress, since they are obsessing over the status of their ex to an extreme through the use of “constant connection” granted by social media. This opposite of a clean break maintains intense feelings by exposure to the person’s profile and viewing history, even after the relationship is long over. Wistful reminiscers feel the next highest amount of emotional distress, followed by ritual cleansers and clean breakers.
This study reveals to me an association between attachment style and social media use post-breakup. I was happy to see that most participants in the study, about 61 percent, were clean breakers, meaning they showed restraint from checking up on their ex-significant other and therefore felt the least amount of emotional stress by looking forward to the future instead of dwelling on the past. I think it is interesting that clean breakers show none to little engagement with their ex on social media, but yet they do not show a lot of deleting behavior, either, likely demonstrating secure attachment, as the article points out. This shows me that they can appreciate the memories but not want the relationship back. Attachment style seems to strongly correlate to the amount of social media behaviors exhibited post-relationship breakup, which leads to consequential emotional distress. Securely attached individuals likely are clean breakers in the scheme of profiles, and they face the least amount of emotional distress due to their choice in social media behaviors post-breakup.
Anxious attachment style is characterized by low self-esteem, fear of rejection or abandonment, and tendency to be clingy, according to attachmentproject.com. People with anxious attachment are insecurely attached and likely do not hold the same “future orientation” as clean breakers are capable of after a breakup, affecting their social media use by increasing monitoring of their ex to hold onto the past. Insecurely attachment people also may delete more history on social media with their ex because they cannot bear to view old memories of the past without wanting the past back. Clean breakers are more securely attached and likely can keep their photos and memories with a past partner because they are oriented towards future opportunities and are not looking back. However, an insecurely attached person, whether it be an extreme impulsive clinging to the past or a ritual cleanser focused on deleting history, will engage in more social media behaviors oriented around the past relationship because they feel they cannot let go of that affirmation once granted by the relationship. I also found it interesting that ritual cleansers are not always insecure because sometimes deleting is a form of “intentional closure” and a sign of moving on, but if they are deleting social media posts with their ex to get rid of reminders of their relationship, then they likely are insecurely attached and miss the relationship.
Your analysis of the article was very thorough, and I was very interested to learn how much attachment style impacts one’s reaction to a break up. I was honestly surprised to read that 61% of participants were “clean breakers,” meaning that they either deleted or interacted very little with their ex. A “clean break” seems easier said than done, so it’s interesting to see that so many people adopted, or “claimed” to adopt, this strategy. Prior to reading this article, I had assumed that “clean breakers” were more hostile and had more animosity toward their ex. That being said, it was fascinating to see that this break-up style was actually correlated with the most secure attachment.
I think it is so cool to uncover that correlation between post break-up social media behavior and attachment style. Social media invites us to act in various ways, but at the end of the day, our attachment styles are a strong predictor of behavior when it comes to relationships. I, too, was surprised that 61% of participants cut off all ties. I listened to a podcast recently about social media and breakups, and was aware that people undergo the most distress when they continue to obsess over their ex on social media by constantly viewing their content and stalking their pages, mainly because we will look back with rosy retrospection and only focus on their good qualities. While this makes the “clean break” the best option in terms of emotional distress, it does seem extreme to go from having strong feelings to fostering absolutely no relationship at all.
This is so fascinating to read about in an educational sense. There’s no denying breakups are difficult, and how to handle the online presence and image post-breakup only make it more difficult. I have friends who’ve been hesitant with removing their s/o from their profiles, but others tend to do it instantly. I personally can attribute this to how the relationship may have ended in the first place. In theory, a mutual parting-of-ways would still end amicably, perhaps leading one to not delete their ex right away, and not mediate on it and miss them. On the contrary, there’s the absolute opposite, should the relationship have ended terribly, one might want to expunge all evidence of their s/o from their pages, both to avoid hurt and as a potential to hurt their new ex. I personally think its very different for each person who goes through hardship like a breakup, and frankly I think one’s actions immediately post-breakup can’t really be indicative of how they might feel, because we all can act on impulse and breakups aren’t fun! It may just depend on how much self-control one has!
This article sounds extremely interested and I would love to hear more about it in class. Although it is not surprising that attachment styles are related to one’s post-breakup social media use, it is still fascinating that a study is able to prove this connection. To me, this idea can uncover so much more through future studies, such as how ones general personality type may impact their social media use. I also find it sad that the the insecurely attached person, who tends to engage in impulsive social media behavior, are the ones who engage in the activities that are most likely to contribute to even FURTHER emotional distress. It is no secret that today, it is far easier to know what someone is up to, and, in the case of instagram, can even see what they are liking and who they are following. This tremendous lack of privacy makes it harder to entirely detach from a person, and it is interesting to see that these features of social media almost force a person to show their attachment style through their choice of post-breakup behavior in this study.