Connected, But Alone? by Sherry Turkle provides keen insight on a seemingly paradoxical view of technology and the use of cellphones. With the complex nature of the relationship we have with our technological devices, she describes something called The “Goldilocks” Effect, in which the user or owner of the cell phone, in their relationships with other people, don’t want these people too close or too far, but just the right amount of distance from one another to ensure mental and emotional comfort.

This TED Talk was intriguing in that it provided the viewers with an explanation for why we tend to hide behind our screens, as opposed to the simple fact that we just do. Turkle makes a lot of great points in this, but there were some that piqued my interest more than others. When you are sitting at the dinner table, is your phone on the table? Turkle says that this “texting everywhere we go and are phenomenon” holds a deeper meaning than just sheer addiction. Instead of being present, wherever we might be, we are portraying to the people around us that even though we want to be with who we are with, we also want to be elsewhere. She dives deeper and discusses the idea that we only want to pay attention to the things that interest us, so as soon as we get bored with whoever we are with or wherever we are, we pick up the phone and “transport” somewhere else, somewhere in the digital realm.

But this idea of being “alone together” is multifaceted. After having interviewed hundreds of people over multiple years, she has come to the conclusion that people will voluntarily choose texting over face-to-face interaction because real conversation takes place in real time, and we can’t control what we are going to say. Whereas with texting, we are able to edit and delete what we wish before furthering the conversation. We are, without realizing it, pushing ourselves away from others, and not giving people the chance to get to know the real us, one that is vulnerable and makes mistakes. This distance we have put people at because of technology has become detrimental to the future of society, and this isolation is just one of the consequences.

Lastly, Turkle made a point that initially confused me, and that is that many people would like to see something like a more advanced Siri, one that can act as a best friend. This statement exemplifies the painful truth of this want, which is that nobody is listening. I don’t think I would like a more advanced, robotic like invention to become my best friend, but I do know that the reason why people do is because our phones and technology have changed who we are and our relationships with people, and not for the better.