A mother is someone who does work the whole of her life for the family without making any salary. She is always willing to give up everything for her children’s sake. People usually believe that dedication to their children reflects maternal love, for example, the mother who stops a bullet in a street fight, or the mother who passed away after giving birth. However, I believe that love exists in daily life.
Before tenth grade, I lived in China with my mother. Every day when I came back home, the dinner was ready, and she would quietly wait for me near the hallway.
“How was your day, son?”
I would remain silent.
I had a poor relationship with my mother because she was strict when I was small. I was not allowed to attend any party, use any electronic devices, or play with my friends on weekends. The only thing I was allowed to do was — study. She used to tell me that what she regretted most was that she did not have a chance to study at university. My mom tried to live vicariously through me. I was just a form of wish fulfillment, a child with no love and care.
Years later, when I became the top student in the class, she became less strict; however, I started to hate her. I believed that she destroyed my childhood and stole my happiness. Silence then became the main theme between my mother and me. After dinner, she would wash the dishes as I studied alone in my room. She would always leave a cup of milk on the table, but I never drank it. During the weekends, she always tried to take me to different museums and parks. I guess it was her way of trying to pay me back my childhood, so I usually refused to go. While I never tried to argue with her, I never listened to her. I felt that I was a bird that was locked in the cage, and although the lock had been removed, the bird was tired and did not want to fly anymore.
However, things changed rapidly. After tenth grade, I had a chance to study abroad. I started my high school life in America where I got a new credit card without a spending limit. I had my freedom to play, to travel, and to make friends. I started partying and having “candy” called pep pills. I ignored the message that my mom sent to me, threw away the clothes she bought me, and shopped freely with my new friends. I bought myself a new computer and a new cell phone that allowed me to enjoy video games till midnight. I started to eat junk food and drink soda. I felt that this bird finally started to fly in the sky, freely and happily.
It was not until one day that I finally realized that I was wrong. Several months later, things got worse. My eyes were deep-set, and I felt tired every day. My friends and I still went out for parties, but I could not fit in anymore. Eventually, I was too sick to go to school. The lack of sleep and an unhealthy diet had seriously damaged my body. I called my friends for help, but they had all disappeared. Being so helpless and in pain, I had no choice but to call my mother.
“Yes, my son. What’s up?”
“I…I am sick.”
“Sick? How do you feel now? A headache? I put a bag of medicine in your case, take it out and use it.”
After a short call, I found the bag and took the pill. As I slept on the bed, I recalled what she had told me about the medicine, but I had ignored her as usual. That night was the first time that I truly missed my mom. I missed my home too. I started to realize and remember her meticulous care. Who loves, nurtures us, and takes care of every need as she accepts into her life someone new to bathe and feed? It can only be my mother. I started to miss the dinners she cooked for me, the greetings she gave me, the glasses of milk she left for me, and the messages she sent to me. I realized that she was trying to protect me when I was young and that she was trying to give me a brighter future. I thought the excellent care she gave me was ordinary and usual, but that was actually the enormous love that she gave to me. I realized that living freely like my friends did not equal to a happy childhood. The “ordinary” care from my mother defined love and happiness.
Flying in the sky is joyful, but eventually, birds will return to their home and take some rest. I finally realized that I was never a child without love and care, and this made me believe that love exists in ordinary life. My mom loves me despite all my mistakes, and the love she gives me has never changed since I was born. She took care of me when I was young, and even though I now have freedom, I will never be alone. Love hides in the ordinary life, waiting for us to discover it.