season I.
that scorching night in Manila turned into a frozen river of time
with your frost soft gaze that caresses my
pulse into burning hail
Fiery,
Numbing,
Confusing,
Arousal.
you, an Ice Queen that turns Tropics into the Arctic
I, but melting ice on your window sill,
reflecting your Aurora Borealis beauty
wishing to touch your Winter-numb skin
with all your layered pain
jacketed in a facade of strength
blanketed in a persistent coolness
that has never seen the gentle embrace of snow.
but I am merely melting ice on your window sill
breathing into you the chillingly warm force of life
Yet a glass miles-thick separate our worlds
I can only reflect back to you:
your fatherless fears, your passionless pursuits,
the myriad mirage for “MORE”
that lures orphans like us
season II.
It all vanishes as a heatwave of passion overcome us
(Me: I’m the guy, I should make the first move, right?)
Two jagged pieces of coal, thrown like life’s rubbish, rubbing against each other
(You: Why am I feeling so funny?)
A kindred flame starting with a gentle kiss on the cheek
(Me: I just had my first kiss!)
Sparking a wildfire of bliss through the neck, beyond the lips and amidst the tongue
(You: He just kissed me!)
Our conflagorated bodily warmth shooting summer fireworks
(Me: More!)
Canons of hormones blasting through our virgin mouths
(You: More!)
Fingers touching the innermost gates of our being
(Us: Can this last for more?)
Then the Sun, that gas giant of glory, consumed us.
season III.
but like the flower rose, it too, wilts
the day of youth bowing down
to the fall of night’s reality:
~obsessive ex-boyfriend, college plans in the States, teenage naivete~
The golden leaves of that July escapade
Garden beds of Tangerine dreams
Blown by the doleful wind of Philippine society:
~your million-peso family empire ,my working-class roots,social stratification~
The trees of infatuation are laid bare:
~ a final call in a cemetery, goodbyes amidst a raging storm, pure brokennes~
Was it carnal lust seeking sensual satisfaction?
Was it isolation from seeing couples on park benches?
Was it the cooling of our ambition, the shortening of our days?
Or was it that elusive four-letter word we dare not say?
Yes, it starts with an L
Followed by an O
Then silenced by Space & Time
LOST!
season IV.
years have passed from that fateful date
seasons have gone, hearts marched on;
the Tulips of Time have borne fruit
the Lilies of Life giving textured truth
but there are spring nights when I still wonder
like I did that night when I moaned for you
to the angels watching, their eternal eyes seeing,
my knuckles paint the cemetery wall red
my tears cleaning the tabernacle table
statued saints seeing my bare heart stop beating
that is the day I created a new circle of Inferno,
my mind still echoing your name.
my eyes still picturing your lips
my ears still dancing to your hum
months of questioning the lunacy,
of why Reason forced me to leave you
for the immigrant’s obsession with the American Dream
the legacy I inherited from my Daddy, now in the sky
only to discover the media-advertised bouquet is fake plastic
and to yearn for our mutual wounds, the only thing I know to be pure;
Those are the spring nights when I wonder
if the memories of our daffodilled union
will still bring forth a thorn-free rose?