The difference between #1 draft & final draft

This is my first assignment in Writing & Reading class. First, I submitted the first draft in order to be evaluated from Mr. Antonio. After I had evaluation from Mr. Antonio, I edited the final draft and submit it. I know, there is a huge difference, but I believe that every one can have a mistake. As you can see, in the first draft I had several mistakes. First mistake is capitalization mistakes, for example: Unequally, Beating, Slaves (after etc…). Actually in the final draft I realized my mistakes and fix it. Hook and thesis statement were terrible, so I rewrite it again and explain it in more better way. For example my thesis statement, “I will talk what slaves used to so in the 4th of July” It is not a thesis statement, or it’s not explained will, because it didn’t show clearly what I will talk about through that essay. Also my hook, it was not good enough to show what I will talk about, I thought that changing it would be more better, because it was not good enough. I post it in order to show how Stepup program helped me a lot to succeed.

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